Stories of me attempting at figuring out life but usually failing

To the girl that pissed all over the toilet seat

This is not my posting, I am stealing this whole thing from a fb note originally posted by one Sara Allender on Wednesday April 29, 2009 because it is so true and I had to deal with this at starbucks today and it was disgusting, enjoy.

Yeah, you know who you are. Im ashamed of you, as is the rest of the world that has an XX chromosome pair. Just imagine the shock when I walked into the stall, expecting to lock and go. But no, thanks to you I got to hold my piss a little bit longer, pushing the extremes of my transitional epithelium. You, little miss piss-all-over-the-place, managed to pee all over the front half of the seat. To some this may seem like a hard feat, but as any woman that has peed in the woods would know, the only way that you could achieve this massive spray is to squat over the seat, instead of resting your ass against it like it was made to do. Nope, not you miss germaphobe. You do realize that these seats are cleaned daily, which means that its probably cleaner than the seat at your house…well not anymore since you soiled it.

Thats right, upon seeing it, I had no other choice but to clean it off. No self respecting woman would intentionally place her ass upon some other woman’s urine. As I reached for the toilet paper and wadded it up to make sure that no drop would seep through and touch my hand, I wondered how you didnt realize the mess you made. In order to get that range of spray, you had to have felt a stream or two on yourself. Did you wipe that off or just say, “Aww fuck it” and pull your pants up and away you went? Lord knows that’s what you did.

So next time you choose to pee all over the seat, maybe you could clean up after yourself and not push the rest of us ladies to the edge of pissing our pants just to get rid of your urine-berries.

Oh, and you might want to try drinking more water…you were kinda on the bright yellow side.

Thanks!

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